Being Italian in Belguim
About Lydia Zoda
Lydia Zoda lived in Belgium most of her whole life. There, she was raised by Italian parents. Now, she has two kids, lives in Switzerland, and works as a gym teacher. Her identity as an Italian, as well as her experiences in Belgium, helped shape who she is today.
How was it like to grow up with Italian parents?
“Well, for me it was normal of course… It was the only thing I knew… I was surrounded by love and a father that worked a lot... Of course, I noticed very young that there were things that we did differently.”
What language did you speak at home?
“Since my mother was traumatized by not understanding the language people spoke when she arrived in Belgium, she spoke to us in French. My first language is French but I spent my Wednesday and Saturday afternoons going to Italian classes.
Were you being treated differently compared to your sisters?
“My mom says that she raised us all the same way. There is a big age difference between my older sister and my youngest sister, so of course at some point, the rules [were] bent and softened. As I was the rebel of the family, I made sure to explain to my parents that some of their rules were ridiculous.”
You said you were the rebel of the family. Can you tell me a little more about that?
Well, my older sister was very gentle and quiet, so if my Dad said no she was like, ‘oh, ok. Okay, nevermind.’ I would say, “No, it's not fair! Why are all my friends allowed to do this [and] am I not allowed to do this or that! ‘
“ “We all come from different cultures so we each have different ways of raising people.””
“I made sure to not raise my kids like my parents [raised] me, everybody has their own way.”
-Lydia Zoda
Do you think that you might have missed out on cool teenage stuff because of the way your parents raised you?
“I made sure that I would act differently with my girls. One example is sleepovers. I was not allowed to go for a sleepover, and I could not invite a friend home for one. Makeup: I was only able to have some light makeup when I was 18.”
When people hear you say you were raised by Italian parents, what do you think they thought, because for example if a boy was raised by an Italian family, the boy would be able to do anything he wants so what was it like for you?
“My parents were very severe: if my dad said no, it was no, there was no way you could make him change his mind. I was not allowed to do all the fancy things when I was a teenager.”
